Restrained Ricky Gervais Made for Forgettable Golden Globes

The Golden Globes kicked off the 2012 Awards Season for the already accolade-ridden Hollywood crowd.

But what most of us look forward to in watching the industry pat itself on the back each year are the fashions and the unpredictability of the live broadcasts; fumbling of lines or some wardrobe or teleprompter malfunctions add a little drama to the often over-rehearsed and monotonous delivery of nominee lists.

This year’s Golden Globes were no exception. Given the irreverent Ricky Gervais’ history-making skewering as the Globes host in 2011, he did not make the show any different this time, and seemed rather restrained and muzzeled. Whether the suits made Gervais tone it down in exchange for a return invitation, he dialed down his revealing humor and barely poked the celebrity crowd past the first layer of sequined organza and black wool to make any permanent mark.

In any case, here are my top 10 Golden Globe moments to remember:

1.  Best Opening Line: Ricky Gervais’ “Kim Kardashian is to Kate Middleton what the Globes are to the Oscars… trashier, louder and more easily bought.”

2.  Best Couple: William H. Macy and Felicity Huffman singing as presenters in perfect a capella pitch.

3. Best Line Fumble: Maddona switching from a fake Bristish accent to a clear, crisp American one depending on the situation.

4. Best Technical Malfunction: Teleprompter crashing and giving way to a live cold reading by an orange- hued Rob Lowe and a nervous Julianne Moor in front of Steven Spielberg and Marting Scorsese.

5. Best Non-Use of Three-Second Delay: Seth Rogen’s comment about how he was trying to control his protruding manhood on stage standing next to a blushing Kate Beckinsale — and the camera cutting away to Jodi Foster with two small children sitting on her lap.

6. Best Acceptance Speech: Michelle Williams thanking her little girl. It was the most humble and genuine grateful moment of the night.

7. Shortest Time on Stage: Johnny Depp.

8. Most Dejected Ensemble of the Night: Cast of Glee.

9. Most Confusing Dress: Emma Stone’s Nazzi-looking belt buckle.

10. Best Part of the Evening: Not one Kardashian was spotted in or near the Globes.

Here’s to hoping the Oscars deliver a better produced show. Billy Crystal, we’re counting on you!

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